Why Not Me?

When I'm struggling with something the temptation is often to ask why? or why me? But I think we need to start asking why not? or why not me?

We live in a fallen world. There are struggles. Everyone struggles. What makes me so special that I should not struggle or that I should not have this struggle? God showed me this last week.

I struggle with insomnia.

It manifests itself in different ways on different nights. Sometimes I can't fall asleep. Sometimes I can't stay asleep. Sometimes I can't go back to sleep when I wake up. Lately it's been I wake up in the night and can't fall asleep for up to hours.

It all boils down to one statement; I'm tired.

One night I was up for 3 to 4 hours. When I had been awake for over 2 hours, and had already tried all my usual tricks, I looked at the clock and asked whhhyyyy?

And then God said why not? Why not me? What makes me so special? Why shouldn't I struggle?

Another great question is: What is God trying to show me through this struggle?

One thing i have found is that God is giving me a special time to be with him in the middle of the night. I have a time of quiet, which is rare of my busy life with 3 kids under 4. And I have the privilege of spending it with him.

My response needs to be (and sometimes is :)); Thank you God for giving me this special time with you.